1211
hours - Text Message from Mike Darkin
Now at Cockermouth. Cyclists refueled. On route to Carlisle.
1457
hours - Text Message from Lynne
Longtown now. Carrying on now to Dumfries as ahead of
time and trying to eat into 104 mile day. Have pain in
places I didn't even realise I had. Ta oh Webmaster!
x
1556 hours -
Text Message from Geordie
Now in Scotland eating deep fried mars bars... Hugs x
1929
hours - Text Message from Lynne
Finished and showered and off to pub. Cycled 103.5 miles
today and staying at Thornhill. On the A76 north of Dumfries.
Looking for Wi Fi x
BLOG
Before I start today’s
adventure I think that it is only right to acknowledge our
6th guest! The farmer
was absolutely determined not to allow us sole occupancy
of the barn as Geordie had not paid the extra 35p required
to secure the facility. Whilst resting and completing
last night’s blog “Boris” made his entrance. With
stealth like precision that Andy McNab himself could not
match he made his way up the drainpipe and into the kitchen
(and I use this descriptive term very loosely) sink. Now
we have all seen house spiders and let’s face it they
have food on tap, plentiful peaceful retreats with very few
natural predators which no doubt has resulted in an evolutional
alteration to the intended development of ???. Subsequently
most common house spiders rarely develop to a size or shape
that would threaten any tolerable cohabitation acceptance. Boris
on the other hand is a “farm spider”! Not
stunted by the comforts of a draft free double glazed environment
Boris was nothing short of a prime specimen of arachnid dominance
of the rural environment. I did not hang around long
enough to confirm it but on first glance I swear I saw 8
ample biceps, 32 incisors and the remains of the last guests
being wiped from his grin as he edged his way up the stairs. This
called for the big guns! Glenn swooped in with a dustpan
and brush the size of a digger bucket. We threw our
last 8 ounce rump steak in as bait and watched as Boris devoured
it as if it were an hors d'oeuvre before turning to
select a main course. Clearly we needed more to dissuade
this king of beasts…Geordie did not fail us. Still
dressed in his cycle gear he approached…I am not quite
sure what it was, perhaps the prominent display of manhood,
perhaps the look of desperation on his face (he still had
not recovered from the “bun me” comment), or
maybe it was simply the smell (we really must make him shower). Suffice
to say something caused Boris to think twice and make a swift
retreat from the barn. So we were back to 5 for the
night! Phew!
Now onto today…Bag Puss
slept through to 8am today. Well
maybe not right through to 8am but he respected the wishes
of the cyclists and kept quiet till 0759! Geordie on
the other hand thought it might be nice to pop downstairs
at 0600 hours and leave a gift for us…One that he
was so proud of he chose to leave on display for the next
visitor to the little room! Which just happened to
be the Admiral, you can imagine the response “we are
not amused!”! So after 5 minutes, a few DIY tasks
and a nuclear explosion later we managed to wake Lynne. My
god…I thought we were back on that Stephen King set
again! Lynne does not do mornings too well, at least
not after two mountains, 200 miles on a bike and when rationed
to two pints a night! The real signs of what this was
actually taking out of our team began to show today as Lynne
limped across to the breakfast table. I do not think
that there is a place on her body that does not ache at the
moment. Personally I can only vouch for about 70% though
as I do not dare test the remaining 30% with Glenn being
the co-driver! Geordie finally was beginning to show
signs of being human after all. Complaining of slight
discomfort in the region of his pubic bone. Now whether
that was down to the cycling or his nocturnal intermissions
we will never know?
Once breakfast and the usual motivational
talk from Glenn, “come
on you need to be on the road in 10 minutes…” they
set off. Smiles on faces…or was it grimaces? Either
way, Glenn and I now had 2 hours to find a MacDonald’s
for breakfast! That was of course after we bid farewell
to the Admiral and his escort. Eric was feeling a little
under the weather from his night in the chicken coup but
the 30 Stevedores soon picked him up and he was away with
the customary fanfare. Now believe it or not we did
not find a MacDonald’s before it was time for the 11am
rendezvous. Most disappointing! We had to settle
for a large slice of carrot cake and a full fat Latte in
Cockermouth instead and then even that was disturbed by a
phone call…”we’re here…where are
you?” How the Bloody hell did they get here so
fast we thought. So we scoffed the last bit of cake
and drove out to meet them for 11zzzzz’s.
Spirits were still high at
this point and they were on track for a new PB. The
only news at this point was that Lynne and Geordie had met
up with yet another member of Dougie's family. This
time they met Mr and Mrs Sellafield, Dougie's older brother
and sister. Full of colour and excitement,
or was it the side effects of living so close to Britain’s
finest nuclear establishment? We’ll never know! Far
more sensible than their younger brother the Sellafields
were able to impart copious amounts of wisdom and local knowledge
which in truth was absolutely pointless to our little hobbits
as they were busily on their quest to middle earth and barely
stopped long enough to read road signs let alone learn of
the historical facts! In addition to this Geordie could
not contain his excitement any longer. On route between
the lakes and Cockermouth he had stumbled upon “Stobbart
Land”! I am not entirely sure the commuters of
Cumbria shared in his excitement as he paraded round the
busiest roundabout on Cumbria’s only arterial route
into Scotland giggling like a hyena on speed. Lynne
managed to snap three shots before “Cumbria's finest” swooped
in from every angle demanding to know what was in his man
bag! Somehow they convinced the Sergeant that they
were on a mission from God (must have been Lynne’s
glasses) and they were permitted to resume.
Well after 15 minutes of Geordie's
tales Glenn and I began to contract ME. Lynne deserves
a medal for enduring that alone. How many versus
of Henry the Eighth I am can she endure? As we waved
them off we were not to know that we should have tied a
GPS transmitter to their ankles. “We’re
going up the A595 they said” “oh
really”?? That was the last time we saw them
until Carlisle. They either got a lift or took another
route coz they weren’t on the bloody A595! Carlisle
was the lunch stop and Frodo Geordie needed another toilet
stop. We escorted him to a Catholic Church and were
doing ok until he started eyeing up a statue of the Virgin
Mary adjacent to the vicarage. “NOOOO”…came
a distant cry so we hurried him away to a nearby Somerfields
to use their facilities instead. Apparently not! “I
cannot let you use the toilets sir, health and safety requirements
dictate that 4 managers and a safety officer need to be present
to enable the process to be undertaken without breaching
European laws”. Geordie could take it no more
so he reverted to plan B. Oh yes…that pride
of place rose bush at Somerfields in Carlisle may not bloom
next year! “That’ll learn em”!
We dare not stay there any
longer so it was back on the bikes and off before environmental
health figured out the consequences of his actions and
that, my friends, was the last time we saw them…for
a little while!
Glenn and I now transformed
ourselves and our gleaming Ford Galaxy into a shiny ballbearing
to be placed neatly onto a giant game of pinball and spent
the afternoon bouncing between Carlisle and Thornhill either
looking for the hobbits or trying to find alternative accommodation
for the night. You
see somewhere along the way they forgot the plan, to sleep
at Longtown fire station. The trouble was they were
at Longtown at approximately 2.52pm and got it into their
heads that they would carry on. Our first stop was
Dumfries Central Fire Station. Upon arrival I sent
Mr Subtle in to do his stuff. I tell you what he is
good! I
followed in moments later to be introduced to Divisional
Commander “Clark the Grey” who offered us Elvin
bread and a tour of the Shire. Having heard our plight
he set to work to find us alternative accommodation amongst
his domain. Moments later he declared us safe passage
and board to Annan. Pleased with our achievements we
set off back along the A75 to locate our weary hobbits and
as we neared the fire of Mount Annan there they were…riding
on the back of two Nazguls seemingly in another dimension
of time and space…
All our work down the drain…it was now only 4 o’clock
and Lynne declared “I want to go on” “I’m
loving it today and not stopping till 6”! So
Glenn and I set off to Annan to chat with Kind Kenny the
Station officer. All I can say about Kenny is what
a nice man. We passed a pipe around for a while and
he had rattled a few bones into a carved out skull before
declaring us safe passage back through the straights of Dumfries
and onto Thornhill.
We then FINALLY located the tired
little hobbits somewhere South of Thornhill muttering “and I rode and I rode
and I rode and I kept on riding and when I had to eat I kept
on riding and when I had to pee I kept on riding and when
I had to go, you know, I kept on riding and when I got to
the sea I turned around and I kept on riding…well
that’s all I got to say about that. We got the
distinct impression that they had had enough for the day
so we escorted them into their evening’s accommodation….Thornhill
fire Station. What a relief. Tired and weary
we left them showering up whilst we did a little shopping
nearby. We returned to find Geordie apologising to
the local crochet society who had turned up to use our bedroom
for their Monday night gathering in their continuing quest
to complete a new volley ball net for the stations finest. We
left them to it and jogged round to the nearest pub for our
meal and the blog update!
So in short a great day…HUGE amount of miles covered. Lynne
has blisters where you should not have blisters, Geordie
hurts where…well a man shouldn’t hurt and Glenn
and I still haven’t found what we are looking for!
A BIG BIG well done to Geordie and
Lynne today…they
are now 42 miles (1/2 a day) ahead of schedule!
Today’s stat’s:
Top cycling speed = 36.6 miles per hour
Average Speed = 13.2
Miles cycled today= 103.5
Total miles cycled = 298.4
Traffic law infringements = 4.5 witnessed…none infringed
Eddies Spotted = 8
Quote of the day:
From Geordie – “If my arse ever looks like that…Bun
Me”
Or
From Lynne – “It will go down hill up here”
Word of the Day
Bubba Gump |
